Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Gearin Up to Get an Agent Blogfest Week Two

Week two of the Gearin Up to Get an Agent blogfest!

This week is a story chain! For the part before mine go here.

My assignment: Show us a serious moment
Your words are: moon, plant, fight.

The Rocky Tale of Dio Franklin

Dio could do nothing when her mother passed out while she flew towards their house. What coud she do? A slip of her concentration and they could be falling instead of flying. She just hoped that her mother would be fine. Surely she’d be fine she didn’t kill Roddern for no reason.

Her heart clenched. She’d killed him. With her own hands. She felt the blood on her hands, dry now but sticky. Her hands seemed to burn.

She remembered what Roddern had said, “Remember, I will find you again, Dio.” But she just couldn’t see how anyone could come back after that. But he wasn’t just anyone. He was Roddern and he’d come back from death already.

She quit thinking. If her thoughts kept going this way she’d brake down or something and she couldn't afford to do that right now.

She finally made it to the house. At this time the moon was already high and huge. A full moon tonight. She got into the house using the key under the potted plant and laid her mom on the couch in the living room. Her mom was still breathing and still fevered and she got a damp wash cloth and managed to get some flu medicine in her but there was nothing else she could do.

So she found the phone book and looked up the club Tony worked at and dialed the number. As she stood there, phone to her ear, she finally noticed just how miserable she felt. Her body ached her head was pounding with a head ache- she looked at her right hand which was resting on the counter, bloody. With a start she looked down at herself and saw the bloodstains all over. She looked like she’d been in a fight! But it was all Roddern’s blood. All his.



Ring- “Hello?”

It was Tony.

There it is! Hope you guys enjoyed it! :)

For the part after mine go here.


Angie Cothran said...

Great job with the serious moment. I'm really sad about dead Roddern. Can someone resurrect him? Please?

Christina Mercer said...

Oh no, Mom's passed out and Dio's hands are covered in Roddern's blood! Great end hook with Tony, too ;-)

Donna K. Weaver said...

Roddern's come back from the dead before? Hmmmm ... possibilities.

Deana said...

I enjoyed it! We had to get back to this and I'm so glad you did. Great job!

Anonymous said...

Yay! So good! I think I see Roddern coming back...Surely someone will grab hold of that??

Alleged Author said...

Covered in the blood of her new beloved. :( Tony better fix it somehow or none of us will forgive him!

Robin Weeks said...

Thanks for the great springboard!

Robin Weeks said...

I also want to say that I did not read these comments before I wrote my piece. I guess we all just know what we like! :)

Angelina C. Hansen said...

This has a stillness, which could be called seriousness. And a great setup. Well done.

Lora R. Rivera said...

Angelina: "a stillness." Perfect interpretation, imo. That's exactly what this is. The weight and tiredness of her body contribute to it. The slight repetition also. Good transition and lead in, Taylor!

amber said...

nice -- well written and a good moment of calm after so much action :)

Siv Maria said...

So excited to read on, you did a really good job. Can't wait to see who this Tony creep is.

Stephanie said...

Nice work creating a serious and sad moment and great emotion over her killing Roddern. Poor guy's really been getting beaten up in this story.

Anonymous said...

After how fantastical it has been not an easy feat making it a bit more serious, great job!

Misha said...

Nicely done! Just want to mention that you might want to look out for redundancies. If her head's pounding, you don't have to say she has a head ache. We already know.

There are some other examples too, but I'm sure you'll be able to find them on your own.

The story has me intrigued, though.

Kristi Bernard said...

Great job!